*Maniacal laugh*

Oh geeeeez. So, I put it out there that I was going to have to live with stress, and what does the universe provide?? 1.6 kilos of STRESSSSS!!!!

I had resigned to dealing with bloat, but this is ridiculous. My magic scales (measuring fat, water, muscle and bone %) say that this morning I weighed 68.1, was dehydrated, and had jumped up 1.5% fat. IN TWO DAYS!

While I am not taking this at face value, I can't attribute this strange swing to anything particular (haven't eaten a bucket of lard lately, nor wallowed in cheeseburgers). Thus it has mysterious origins, and hopefully will disappear just as easily and mysteriously.

I can only blame the hot weather, drinking/retaining a lot of fluid and the scales being wrong.
Or leprechauns. They're always up to no good.

How to achieve the gentle look, and other factoids

I was flicking through a book about perception from the 1970s and stumbled on this fab illustrated how-to-do 'look'. They omitted that to achieve this 'look', one must have half a nose, eyes like a cow, strange, nebulous hair and eyebrows that have been waxed, lifted and tattooed back on. A tall order for any girl.

It reminded me rather of the Weight Watcher's 'makeover' booklet which outlines a series of face shapes and corresponding hairstyles and make-up hints. They recommend that one with a round face shape paints their face with two distinct shades of foundation:
"Place your highlight colour on the forehead, under the eyes, the top of the cheeks and the centre of your chin. Then use the darker shade for the temples, cheeks and jaw."

But I ask: Will this fool ANYONE?

Why is giving you face army-fatigue type camouflage going to help? So that you can blend the sides of your face into wood-panelled walls? Feel at home in timber furniture stores?
One might be better off glueing the lengths of one's hair to the side of one's face to disguise the unsightliness of a round face. Either that, or just get over it and accept that an 'oval' face shape isn't the new black. Neither is it the new army fatigue.

So, we haven't really come so far since 1973, after all.

66.5 - Still Alive

I totally bought a new dress. It's cheap, from Cotton On in the vicinity of $35. But I don't care! It's my little self-congratulation for the 500 grams I kicked off my body this week!

Now only 2.5kg to WW goal weight. I've pledged with a fellow WW member to try to kick the last of this before the end of Feb. Can I do it? 2.5kg in the shortest month of the year? To top it off, can I keep my stress levels down from unrelated (but equally pressing) things in order to focus on weight loss?

Why not?

It's taken me a while to realise (27 years give or take a month) that I'll have to keep living with stress. I have believed for a long time that there'll be some magical time when I'm not stressed (though there will be times I'm less stressed). So I'm no longer delaying my present happiness in lieu of that magical future time. I need my stress to relax me, in the present! So, with my 2.5kg final hurdle ahead of me, I'm shopping for a new outlook on life. One that allows me to get through stressful situations like a hot knife through butter. No longer smashing my head against brick walls, but letting difficult situations resolve themselves, with my help, but without worrying about it.

And positive reinforcement through dress shopping is the only way to get there.

Update on bloat

All my bloat-related fears have been allayed. Sneaky look at the scales this avo says I'm now back to 66.7, only 0.3kg above my lowest last week. Phew. Now to get back down to 66.4 by tomorrow...

Blaming bloat.

BLOAT.

The enemy of the weight loss advocate. This is my bloat (snapped fresh this morning) from yesterday's Australia Day (Invasion Day) festivities. My bloat weighs 1.2 kilos, at least I went into the festivities yesterday weighing 66.4kg on the rocket scales, and have come out considerably worse-for-wear this morning at 67.6 kilos.

Re-negged on my promise to stay good this week, you say? Well, strictly speaking, NO! Yesterday I was remarkably good, considering the whole place was crawling with full-fat mayo salads, meat in various forms, all with extra fat, and cakes, CAKES galore. Not to mention the alcohol. Yet, I got away with confining my consumption to the baby potato salad recipe (WW, 2pts per serve), 1.5 glasses of red wine, 2 pieces of lamb, spinach and pumpkin salad and a piece of pav (with 5 extra points for miscellaneous). I think, all in all, and over-estimating for safety's sake, I came in just over points yesterday, around 21 (I'm on 19).

So, why the bloat today? I have a sneaking suspicion my body knew it was weigh-in today, and has rallied its forces against me. Not really. But I DO think its the alcohol. These days, the slightest amount of alcohol in my bloodstream makes my body retain! retain! retain! (like a fat-storing stockbroker hoarding shares).

I know this bloat will have gone by tomorrow (and I will weigh in on Thursday to prove it..!), but I'm getting SICK and TIRED of the up-and-down caused by alcohol. So, I'm adding another thing to my agenda. No alcohol for February. OUCH. This will be difficult, I have many friends' birthdays this month, but it's the only way I'm going to kick the final 3kg to get to life time membership (well, 3.6kg as of today) before the end of Feb. Wish me luck.

Sneaky peaky

Sneaky look at the scales say... 66.5kg!

But this is anecdotal.

Let's wait until WW weigh-in next Tuesday to find out for sure.

I put this turn of events down to the fact that the other night I went for a run at 9pm. HARDCORE! That being said, I completely binge-ate on Wednesday at a dinner, and had to compensate. So yesterday's efforts were to save points (I ate 16/19) and to do some exercise... hence the late-night run. On track to lose this week. Fingers crossed.

The verdict

The weigh-in came and went... yet I remained the same.


67kgs.


Actually, I've been weighing in randomly on my magic scales, and surprisingly, they almost always say 67.3kg - whether it's first thing in the morning, after lunch or before bed.


I don't think they're broken.


Here's to changing them to say 66.3 (or less) by Tuesday of next week. So, I'd better go for that walk.

A few resolutions

I have a few resolutions which I started putting into practice today.

The first is that for the next week, at least, I'm sticking to 18 points and doing the Weight Watcher's 'fast start' program, which they recommend for anyone stuck with their weight loss.

The second is that I am going to -regardless of a stressful and busy schedule- EXERCISE! I love exercising, except for when I forget how much I like it, and then it slowly builds up to being a chore. But in order not to forget, I'm going to earn between 2-4 bonus points of exercise a day, which translates to a 35 minute jog (4 points) or a bit of a bicycle somewhere.

The third, most important, is that I am going to weigh-in every week! I've avoided weighing in for the last two weeks! And this is not unusual for me. So, to ramp up my weight loss, I'm going to do it every week, rain, hail, shine or chocolate.

I started this morning, have stuck to my 18 points today, and went for a little jog this morning. So far, so good.

The benefits of fat

The last 8 1/2 months have been an amazing journey. But before I get too introspective, I have to discuss one appalling side-effect of losing weight. First, some background. Both in 2007 and 2008 I spent 2 months of the year in the lovely, glow-lamp that is the Greek sun. Mainly on beaches, but also in olive groves and mountain-slopes (for my work). This added up to a tan that made my friends envious when would I come swanning back from Europe at the end of Aussie winter.

So, I just thought that my newly-forming crow's feet were a result of this year's soujourn to Greece. So distraught, I actually racked up quite a bill on my credit card on the way back through Dubai, everything from concealer to miracle 'collagen' eye cream. Of course, none of these have worked. I'm beginning to understand the plight of older women who suddenly realise their own mortality and make a made scramble for every beauty product they can buy (as previously recognised by L'Oreal, Olay and SK II) - I am now one of these.

Yet only after a modicum of reflection did I realise that the crow's feet were forming - not with exposure to sun (as this had not happened in 2007), but with WEIGHT LOSS! Of course, this equals 'duh' to a lot of people who've already experienced this phenomenon. But I was happily enjoying the youthful facial features that my 80 kilo body was providing, not realising that a slimmer body would result in a noticeably more haggard face!

I'm now beginning to understand the oft-touted quote of actress Catherin Deneuve: "A 30-year-old woman must choose between her bottom and her face." And how true that is.

Measurements again!

Last time I checked in:

Neck: 31.5cm
Upper Arm: 27.5cm
Chest: 87cm
Waist: 68cm
Abdomen: 83cm
Hips: 94cm
Thigh: 57.5cm
Calf: 36.5cm

Now:

Neck: 31cm
Upper Arm: 27cm
Chest: 87cm
Waist: 67cm
Abdomen: 81cm
Hips: 93cm
Thigh: 56cm
Calf: 35.8cm

Yesssssssss..... lost 7.2 cms in the last month. Total loss: 91.7cms. I'm closing in on a meter!

Who says you can't fight your jeans?

Jeans! I used to be so afraid of them. Now I'm knocking 'em down like they were pins at a bowling alley. I remember, two years ago, I had purchased a cheap pair of jeans - the only size 14 I could find that would do up, and not look ridiculous. On reflection (and some information about the measurements for standard clothing sizes), I realise when I was squeezing into those sad cheap size 14s, I was probably closer to a size 18 - not funny. I found a size 18 garment in my favourite store -SAVERS- and upon reading the tag, realised my old measurements were exactly that! Again, not funny!

But I'm pleased to report that I will need to alter the garment purchased yesterday at savers by removing a LARGE amount of the material to make it fit! Incidentally, the size 12 Lee jeans I'm wearing above were purchased from Savers a few months ago. They were snug as a bug and even forced out a slight bulge. Now they are noticeably relaxed, verging on loose. And the bonus with Savers clothes is that they are pre-stretched, so if they used to fit, but now they are loose, there's only one explanation for it!

Frenemies.

Right, so I toyed with whether or not to blog about this, but I've decided to go ahead with it. I'm starting to receive some mildly disturbing comments on my weight loss!

A friend who I see around every 6 months (she lives overseas) recently stated: 'You really are very thin, now.' Rather than immediately over-analysing this statement, I practiced my newly-installed technique of accepting complements (and accepting double-edged complements and deconstructing them later), with a 'Thanks! I've got a little bit more to go, but I'm feeling pretty good about myself these days.' It was after I reeled off my standard answer that I noticed the stern, slightly disapproving look on her face. She then launched into a dissertation-defense like diatribe about how she needed to get back to the gym, but she couldn't because it's too cold where she lives, about how she's put on weight over Christmas, etc etc. I listened, slightly astonished at the intensity with which she was delivering this information. I made some placating comments along the lines of: 'It's Christmas! Everyone eats and enjoys themselves, it all comes out in the wash...' but she was having none of it. It was clear that my weight loss success was, by extension, making her miserable and self-conscious (BTW, she is a size 10 who had previously lost a lot of weight, but has maintained her svelte figure for over two years now).

While I was able to put this comment down to standard, post-Christmas trauma, I received another one just last night. Another good size 10 friend (though closer to a 9 than an 11) commented yesterday: 'You're leaving me behind, whittling yourself down like that...' I must have had a puzzled look on my face, because she clarified with: 'Stop losing weight! You're leaving me behind in the 10s, heading the same way as these two [gesturing to our mutual sizes 6-8 friends]. I need you as a buffer!' (At least, I think that's what she said, I was utterly shocked by this point.)

While the full extent of this hasn't actually sunk in yet, I am trying to take these comments with good-natured openness. Yet the angry creature inside me wants to snap: 'So, you need me to be the fat girl so you can be slimmer than someone?' And at the same time, I'm shocked/thrilled that she considers me to be on the verge of being slimmer than her...?! I recall a time when I was envious of her - quite amazing - physique, and frankly, I'm still very envious! She has an amazing body. And, last night, it seems that she revealed she thinks of herself as quite a bit larger than she actually is, and that my change is making her feel uncomfortable about her size.

Now, the point of these two stories is that my primary aim in losing weight was to look and feel better about myself. The secondary aim was - perhaps - to inspire others, rather than make them feel uncomfortable, or defensive! At this point I'm feeling like change (for the positive) should just be celebrated, but it seems it only gets celebrated when it doesn't cut someone else's grass. I guess I'm pushing a lot of people's buttons, firstly by changing myself, and in turn by changing their perception of me. This process has definitely culled a lot of phony frenemies from the pack, who were my friends only when they could feel 'better' than me...

A couch on a bike?

Aaaah, Christmas, a time for giving and receiving. Receiving couches that fit directly onto one's bicycle, that is! I've had this masterpiece of a bike for around 8 months, since the beginning of permanent lifestyle change plan A. It was procured in a country op-shop for the grand sum of $20, which embarrassingly, I had to borrow from my mother (day before pay day, you understand). Anyway, a $90 service and some new brakes later, my bike was completely rideable! I recall riding it to one of my first WW meetings, which is around 10 blocks away, or about a 15 minute ride. The way there was fine, being predominantly downhill. On the way back however, and I began to notice how remarkably HARD the seat was. So hard, in fact, that I had two bruises on my backside where my sit-bones contacted the seat! Needless to say, the bike remained un-ridden for the next 7 months... until, TA-DA! A couch appeared from nowhere and fixed itself onto my bike. Now I'm gliding comfortably everywhere from the supermarket, to my WW meet, to Uni, and just around the block because it is more comfortable than my desk chair. Next stop, bike seat for desk chair.

Ticking along

Well, I added a ticker to the bottom of the blog. Now we can all see exactly where I'm at!

When it rains, it falls

Despite a two-week hiatus in my weight management efforts (Christmas, Boxing Day, New Year's and many-a-day in between) I miraculously lost an entire kilogram at my latest weigh-in! I had been bobbing around the 68kg mark, weighing in at 68.1kg two days before Christmas. But lo and behold, yesterday the scales tipped in my favour and screamed '67' at me!

An entire turkey, and entire ham, two entire boxes of truffles, an entire lamb on a spit, kilograms of potatoes, litres and litres of wine - all consumed by me during my week of shame. And yet I'm all the lighter for it!

I blame (congratulate) two things:

Firstly, my charming beau purchased me some very fancy scales as my Christmas present, which calculate body fat, muscle, bone density and hydration, as well as weight, and how many KCal you can eat per day to maintain your current weight. I bit the bullet and weighed myself after Christmas, and the damage wasn't that bad. Knowledge IS power, I guess... Brilliant!

Secondly, we were entertaining an international guest and ended up doing a lot of activities, including shopping, beaching and climbing to the waterfall you see above.

I often forget that just because I might not count something (ie. an extra mouthful, or an extra stroll around the block), it doesn't mean my body doesn't remember! Just because I went AWOL and didn't count points (reallllly) for two weeks, doesn't mean my body wasn't doing the tallying for me. And apparently my good habits are starting to become ingrained, finally, after 8 months of counting points every day!