Does a leopard change its body image when it has its spots removed?

Interestingly, when this was taken, I felt GREAT in what I was wearing in this photo. I thought I looked like da-bomb fo' shizzle, if you know what I mean.

Now when I look, I see nothing but jean-bulge and double chin!

In this photo I was probably hanging around 75kg, I'd started to shed, was feeling better about myself, and my clothes were fitting nicely. Unfortunately, my clothes were still HUGE, so them fitting nicely doesn't really make a difference! These jeans are now all baggy-ass on me, and I can remove them without unbuttoning/zipping.

That's the good news. The bad news is that when fresh photos are taken of me at 67.9 (whoohoo!), I still see nothing but jean bulge and double chin! Body image is definitely something I'm going to have to deal with. Not today though.

Measurements old and new!

When I began my weight loss journey on the 29th of April 2008, my measurements were a little something like this:
Neck: 34cm
Upper Arm: 33cm
Chest: 103cm
Waist: 82cm (sucking it in)
Abdomen: 101cm (!)
Hips: 109.5cm
Thigh: 67cm
Calf: 40cm

Today I am pleased to announce the following measurements:
Neck: 31.5cm
Upper Arm: 27.5cm
Chest: 87cm (I miss them, though)
Waist: 68cm (still sucking it in, but not as tight)
Abdomen: 83cm
Hips: 94cm
Thigh: 57.5cm
Calf: 36.5cm

Total cm loss: 2.5 + 5.5 + 16 + 14 + 18 + 15.5 + 9.5 + 3.5 = 84.5 cms

I'm floored.

*Flashback* Easter 2008, Sunday Races

Looking back through my photos over the last few years has taught me an important lesson. Firstly, I barely have ANY photos of myself (no prizes for guessing why), secondly it doesn't matter that I don't have any photos of myself, because my friends certainly snapped enough for everyone! Silly me thought I could hide behind the camera (most of the time), and occasionally pose for a well-concealed photo-op and still fool myself that I was slim(ish).

However, my friends (known as the papparazzi to all who can't quite grasp their obsession with photography) were so prolific in their documentation of our outings that I raised a hand to prevent any untoward posting of 'fat' me around the traps (facebook, myspace, etc). This resulted in a wholesale ban on photos of me in general, unless I could approve them first.

HOW EXHAUSTING!

Needless to say, I don't do that now - although I'm allowing the hangover from the iron curtain to remain in place until they twig that I'm not as sensitive anymore. We'll see how long that lasts!

Here I am posing, hiding my arms and hoping I didn't look ugly, March 2008.

67.9 - two fish on a line

Well, can you spot where I lost the 200 grams from? I have no arms, you say? You say I must have lost them in a freak tram accident while I was attempting to swipe posters from a passing telephone pole? Well, no, had I had the genius stroke of having my arms amputated in the name of weight loss, I would be significantly lighter, in the range of 6 kilos. So, nice try, but the 200 grams was actually lost from my left buttock*. Only the left. There is now an Eta-5-star-margarine tub shaped hole from where it was lost.

*This is a dirty lie, I have no idea where the 200 grams was lost from, I just know that it's gone. Yay!

What a waist.

Those size 12 horrible cheap skinny jeans? They now comfortably fit a hand and arm down the side of them. The jury's still out as to whether this is because they are stretched and cheap, or if I've lost that much weight since I bought them 6 weeks ago (when they were tight, cut into my middle bulge and had to be hoisted uncomfortably up so they sat on my hips)... I guess 6 weeks ago I was packing at extra 2kg, so anything's possible!

68.1kg (plus or minus breakfast)

I really like my backyard. It's not too neat, not too messy. There's no room for skipping or hula-hooping, but I entertain the idea. It's colourful, and I like painting (instead of studying).

What's this got to do with weight loss? Oh, nothing.

These are the infamous Valleygirl size 10 jeans, and for the record, I'm sticking my butt out.

If the jeans fit...

Can anyone say 'yesssssssss'?

Ok, ok, so they're Valleygirl - who cares?! They say 'Size 10'! And they FIT! Nicely! No bulges, no muffin-top, no buttcrack. All the essentials, for the bargain price of $14.95 in their clearance store. I've discovered a well-kept secret of thin people: they pay less for their clothing, as THESE are the sizes left at the end of the sale! Cheap clothes are my mantra until I am an official up-and-down size 8. Hooray for size 10, hello size 8 to come!

The past catches up with you...

So. Being overseas this year for a while, my darling friends thought it would be a great idea to plaster my face on a fan and pass me around one of their birthday parties - so I didn't miss out on the festivities, y'see. Hoooooray. Fun for them, but meanwhile, my old 'fat' face was being freshly snapped in photos. Quelle disaster! Thank god I can laugh it off now...

In a land far far away...

Hee hee, yes, I know it's far far away. But it's my little secret how good (or not) I'm looking right this second. This was taken about a month ago, at 69kg. At least you can see I'm wearing (...gasp...) skinny jeans! Please note they are a size 12. Also note that the waist band does not force my stomach to bulge out, or at least, trust me that it doesn't! Also I'm happy to report that these particular jeans are becoming decidedly loose around the waist band these days. This may or may not be something to do with the fact that they cost $20 and are that horribly cheap brand 'Tyte'. But hey- who wants to spend up big on designer wear when I'm just going to have to replace it with smaller clothes soon...?!

Vast ocean of improvement...

That's a bit better...!

This is at 72kg, in September this year. Having said that: most of those kgs are MUSCLE, not fat, as I had been training very very hard. PHEW!

The photo that did it, March 2008

An extra 12 kilograms certainly doesn't assist one's appearance!

This was taken in only March 2008, and here I'm above 80kg. So shameful.

In fact, I would estimate I am around 82kg here, although the official starting weight with WW was 80.4kg.

It was this photo that spurred me to do something about being rotund. And it's still hard to look at!

What happens in the past, stays in the past (October 2005 to be exact)

First thing's first. This is what I used to look like. This was over three years ago, and not even my heaviest. If I had to estimate (because I do, I didn't weigh myself then), I'd put myself at about 78kg in this photo. Oh dear!

Note: the Size 14 jeans forcing my stomach to bulge out. I am the epitome of charm and class, as you can see.

However, this blog isn't about self-bashing, I'm well over that. It's about acknowledging what I used to do to myself and correcting it through being aware. This is to set up a memorial to my former self, and never mourn her passing, and never let her back in (unlike a good Korean horror movie). Please enjoy my journey away from this ^ and towards my new, improved underwear model future.