The benefits of fat

The last 8 1/2 months have been an amazing journey. But before I get too introspective, I have to discuss one appalling side-effect of losing weight. First, some background. Both in 2007 and 2008 I spent 2 months of the year in the lovely, glow-lamp that is the Greek sun. Mainly on beaches, but also in olive groves and mountain-slopes (for my work). This added up to a tan that made my friends envious when would I come swanning back from Europe at the end of Aussie winter.

So, I just thought that my newly-forming crow's feet were a result of this year's soujourn to Greece. So distraught, I actually racked up quite a bill on my credit card on the way back through Dubai, everything from concealer to miracle 'collagen' eye cream. Of course, none of these have worked. I'm beginning to understand the plight of older women who suddenly realise their own mortality and make a made scramble for every beauty product they can buy (as previously recognised by L'Oreal, Olay and SK II) - I am now one of these.

Yet only after a modicum of reflection did I realise that the crow's feet were forming - not with exposure to sun (as this had not happened in 2007), but with WEIGHT LOSS! Of course, this equals 'duh' to a lot of people who've already experienced this phenomenon. But I was happily enjoying the youthful facial features that my 80 kilo body was providing, not realising that a slimmer body would result in a noticeably more haggard face!

I'm now beginning to understand the oft-touted quote of actress Catherin Deneuve: "A 30-year-old woman must choose between her bottom and her face." And how true that is.

Measurements again!

Last time I checked in:

Neck: 31.5cm
Upper Arm: 27.5cm
Chest: 87cm
Waist: 68cm
Abdomen: 83cm
Hips: 94cm
Thigh: 57.5cm
Calf: 36.5cm

Now:

Neck: 31cm
Upper Arm: 27cm
Chest: 87cm
Waist: 67cm
Abdomen: 81cm
Hips: 93cm
Thigh: 56cm
Calf: 35.8cm

Yesssssssss..... lost 7.2 cms in the last month. Total loss: 91.7cms. I'm closing in on a meter!

Who says you can't fight your jeans?

Jeans! I used to be so afraid of them. Now I'm knocking 'em down like they were pins at a bowling alley. I remember, two years ago, I had purchased a cheap pair of jeans - the only size 14 I could find that would do up, and not look ridiculous. On reflection (and some information about the measurements for standard clothing sizes), I realise when I was squeezing into those sad cheap size 14s, I was probably closer to a size 18 - not funny. I found a size 18 garment in my favourite store -SAVERS- and upon reading the tag, realised my old measurements were exactly that! Again, not funny!

But I'm pleased to report that I will need to alter the garment purchased yesterday at savers by removing a LARGE amount of the material to make it fit! Incidentally, the size 12 Lee jeans I'm wearing above were purchased from Savers a few months ago. They were snug as a bug and even forced out a slight bulge. Now they are noticeably relaxed, verging on loose. And the bonus with Savers clothes is that they are pre-stretched, so if they used to fit, but now they are loose, there's only one explanation for it!

Frenemies.

Right, so I toyed with whether or not to blog about this, but I've decided to go ahead with it. I'm starting to receive some mildly disturbing comments on my weight loss!

A friend who I see around every 6 months (she lives overseas) recently stated: 'You really are very thin, now.' Rather than immediately over-analysing this statement, I practiced my newly-installed technique of accepting complements (and accepting double-edged complements and deconstructing them later), with a 'Thanks! I've got a little bit more to go, but I'm feeling pretty good about myself these days.' It was after I reeled off my standard answer that I noticed the stern, slightly disapproving look on her face. She then launched into a dissertation-defense like diatribe about how she needed to get back to the gym, but she couldn't because it's too cold where she lives, about how she's put on weight over Christmas, etc etc. I listened, slightly astonished at the intensity with which she was delivering this information. I made some placating comments along the lines of: 'It's Christmas! Everyone eats and enjoys themselves, it all comes out in the wash...' but she was having none of it. It was clear that my weight loss success was, by extension, making her miserable and self-conscious (BTW, she is a size 10 who had previously lost a lot of weight, but has maintained her svelte figure for over two years now).

While I was able to put this comment down to standard, post-Christmas trauma, I received another one just last night. Another good size 10 friend (though closer to a 9 than an 11) commented yesterday: 'You're leaving me behind, whittling yourself down like that...' I must have had a puzzled look on my face, because she clarified with: 'Stop losing weight! You're leaving me behind in the 10s, heading the same way as these two [gesturing to our mutual sizes 6-8 friends]. I need you as a buffer!' (At least, I think that's what she said, I was utterly shocked by this point.)

While the full extent of this hasn't actually sunk in yet, I am trying to take these comments with good-natured openness. Yet the angry creature inside me wants to snap: 'So, you need me to be the fat girl so you can be slimmer than someone?' And at the same time, I'm shocked/thrilled that she considers me to be on the verge of being slimmer than her...?! I recall a time when I was envious of her - quite amazing - physique, and frankly, I'm still very envious! She has an amazing body. And, last night, it seems that she revealed she thinks of herself as quite a bit larger than she actually is, and that my change is making her feel uncomfortable about her size.

Now, the point of these two stories is that my primary aim in losing weight was to look and feel better about myself. The secondary aim was - perhaps - to inspire others, rather than make them feel uncomfortable, or defensive! At this point I'm feeling like change (for the positive) should just be celebrated, but it seems it only gets celebrated when it doesn't cut someone else's grass. I guess I'm pushing a lot of people's buttons, firstly by changing myself, and in turn by changing their perception of me. This process has definitely culled a lot of phony frenemies from the pack, who were my friends only when they could feel 'better' than me...

A couch on a bike?

Aaaah, Christmas, a time for giving and receiving. Receiving couches that fit directly onto one's bicycle, that is! I've had this masterpiece of a bike for around 8 months, since the beginning of permanent lifestyle change plan A. It was procured in a country op-shop for the grand sum of $20, which embarrassingly, I had to borrow from my mother (day before pay day, you understand). Anyway, a $90 service and some new brakes later, my bike was completely rideable! I recall riding it to one of my first WW meetings, which is around 10 blocks away, or about a 15 minute ride. The way there was fine, being predominantly downhill. On the way back however, and I began to notice how remarkably HARD the seat was. So hard, in fact, that I had two bruises on my backside where my sit-bones contacted the seat! Needless to say, the bike remained un-ridden for the next 7 months... until, TA-DA! A couch appeared from nowhere and fixed itself onto my bike. Now I'm gliding comfortably everywhere from the supermarket, to my WW meet, to Uni, and just around the block because it is more comfortable than my desk chair. Next stop, bike seat for desk chair.

Ticking along

Well, I added a ticker to the bottom of the blog. Now we can all see exactly where I'm at!

When it rains, it falls

Despite a two-week hiatus in my weight management efforts (Christmas, Boxing Day, New Year's and many-a-day in between) I miraculously lost an entire kilogram at my latest weigh-in! I had been bobbing around the 68kg mark, weighing in at 68.1kg two days before Christmas. But lo and behold, yesterday the scales tipped in my favour and screamed '67' at me!

An entire turkey, and entire ham, two entire boxes of truffles, an entire lamb on a spit, kilograms of potatoes, litres and litres of wine - all consumed by me during my week of shame. And yet I'm all the lighter for it!

I blame (congratulate) two things:

Firstly, my charming beau purchased me some very fancy scales as my Christmas present, which calculate body fat, muscle, bone density and hydration, as well as weight, and how many KCal you can eat per day to maintain your current weight. I bit the bullet and weighed myself after Christmas, and the damage wasn't that bad. Knowledge IS power, I guess... Brilliant!

Secondly, we were entertaining an international guest and ended up doing a lot of activities, including shopping, beaching and climbing to the waterfall you see above.

I often forget that just because I might not count something (ie. an extra mouthful, or an extra stroll around the block), it doesn't mean my body doesn't remember! Just because I went AWOL and didn't count points (reallllly) for two weeks, doesn't mean my body wasn't doing the tallying for me. And apparently my good habits are starting to become ingrained, finally, after 8 months of counting points every day!